If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
