make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
