Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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