I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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