bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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