If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
