Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
a search helicopter?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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