I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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