love makes seman taste better
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you made out with another girl for some wings
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
