you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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