I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
