why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Less talking, more tequila
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
