I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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