sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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