I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
