I got chris browned last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
