I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
