This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
