I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
