I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
