WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
