I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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