This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
