I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
