I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
