Where did you get a picture of my penis
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
