If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
