RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
