I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
