I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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