her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
