Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
