and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
