I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
