everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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