Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
