they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
