hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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