He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
