Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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