Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
