dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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