At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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