i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
