ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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