Your dad touched me again.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
