You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
