I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
