U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
