So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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