i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
